DifferentOnTheInside

The darkness of the room seems to shelter me from the atrocities that daylight feeds your eyes. The screaming inside my head momentarily blocks out the sounds of terror from outside the blackened window. Sobbing violently into my hands, I hug my knees as close to my chest as the uniform allows. My temple rests tenderly on my knee, and for a second, I forget. For a second, the pain eases. Everything has disintegrated into the lemon-coloured meadow. Brimming with primroses, the meadow is my favourite springtime destination. And then I see him. He's walking toward me, his face shining in the sun. His hair blows in the gentle breeze, and I feel

If only he knew. If only he knew how desperately I wanted to dangle my arms around his shoulders and leave lipstick marks on his smooth cheek. If only he knew how badly I wanted to run my hand through his hair, and hold him close to me. If only. If only we could commandeer a rocket and fly to the stars. If only we could cheat time and live forever in the land of sparkles and dreams. Fairy lights are the beauty of the night. If only to lie there and know nothing else. If only to be uneducated. If only to be unaware of life. Why were you made this way? Flashbacks and lightening bolts. They always hit you when you're too weak to defend y

"I didn't do it! They told me to!" I had tried to say no. I'd tried everything. I was firm, I pleaded, I begged, I screamed, I yelled, I swore, I ... Despair. It's such an interesting word. It can produce rips, rape, ripe, rest and spare. Spare. But ... raged, I threatened, I bribed, I reasoned, everything. But nothing would work. Nothing! "They manipulated me. I don't remember it, I don't remember anything! They did it! They did it! They did it!" What if the world was a boat, and then things could be changed so easily. Anchors away and bon voyage. Drifting, drifting, drifting. "I don't know what happened, but I didn't do it! I didn't do

Alone, I wandered through the narrow and cobbled streets feeling like a cloud floating aimlessly in the summer sky. Cherry drops and blue soap; I had slipped away from the others to clear my head, but thoughts seemed to pop here and there like mosquitos, and I couldn't hold onto any for long enough to dwell on them. Ice cream and jelly. I ran my hand through my hair, almost pleased with the tangled, greasy texture that greeted my fingertips. Why is everything so fluffy? The street seemed to shine like white gold, and in my head it resembled the shimmering ocean on a stormy day. If only to drift away and be carefree again. If only to taste t